Part II

Ademidemeji

Nothing can dim the light which shines from "within"

~~~Maya Angelou

How can we as Black women have regard for ourselves when we don’t "like" who we are in our natural state of being? Malcolm has to this to say about himself, and I personally found it quite profound:

"This was my really big step toward self-degradation: when I endured all that pain, literally burning my flesh to have it look like a white man’s hair. I had joined that multitude of Negro men and women in America who are brainwashed into believing that the black people are "inferior" – and white people are "superior" – that they will even violate and mutilate their God created bodies to try to look "pretty" by white standards"

Obviously, if we have to straighten our hair, we don’t like it. Can we not feel beautiful any other way? I don’t’ know how many times I begged my Momma to allow me to get a relaxer in order that she would not have to take the hot comb to it any longer. I wanted my hair to be "white girl" straight. I don’t know how many chemical burns I received as a result of my own insanity.

For many of us, it took non-melanin, blond, blue-eyed Bo Derek wearing OUR corn rows to begin to even think about wearing them in public or take off them wigs and show them to the world. It even took Beverly Hills to advertise their white women getting collagen for their lips to be fuller for some of us to appreciate the very lushness of our lips and men ogling over Jlo’s butt for us to see that the junk in our trunk is desirable.

Some of us (me included) brag about the Native American grandmothers who have hair they can sit on. What is up with that? Are we less than human because our hair is short? We are Afrikan! Now Afrikan women on the continent are emulating some of us and bleaching their skin. Some Afrikan nations have had to ban this product because it is deforming the women.

We are Black and we are beautiful, and until we get that through our heads, we will suffer from lack of regard for ourselves. We are descended from the oldest known people on the face of this planet and we are "ashamed" of the mongrels? We can all trace our roots back to some tribe in Afrika. Somewhere in our history is an Oba (king), political prisoner, lawyer, medicine man, doctor, tribal chief or queen. Somewhere in Afrika, someone is still calling upon the names of your ancestors who were taken, and you are ashamed of who you are?

My Sistahs, take another look at yourselves and see if you can actually see beauty in your black skin, no matter what the hue. Can you actually see that we as Afrikans have the monopoly on the real "Social Register" as well? My Black Sistahs, each of you are worthy, no matter what messages or tapes have been played for you, or are being played in your mind, of high honor and prestige from all others.

If you did not get that next "touch up", would you die? If you decided one day to discover the true Afrikan Queen inside of you, would the real hold out be yourself? I have learned throughout my own healing process that even if I looked like "damnit I’ll bite you" by some standards on some days, I am still one beautiful black woman!

Afrikan Queens are dignified when we pray and call upon the "power of the deep like before", meaning calling upon the Ancestors. We call upon our revered ancestors because we find them worthy. Their wisdom, stature, presence and distinction make them worthy of being honored. They are in a position, sitting at the feet of God, to intercede on our behalf.

So, where do I begin Iya Ademide, you ask? Well my Sistahs, you take it one moment at time. One drumbeat at a time. Pace yourself. It isn’t coming overnight. However if you are committed to personal transformation and I do mean on a personal level, it will be as easy as "Sunday morning". You will wake up and it will be there.

I am here to act as a medium and healer of sorts between you and the Ancestors. I will be your guide to helping you find peace, healing, who you are and all the joy you can stand! I will be your teacher, guide, Sistah friend, and walk you along your process, as I continue mine.