Part I
By Ademidemeji
No one can figure out your worth but you
~~~Pearl Bailey
Dignity – 1: quality or state of being worthy or honored. Noun – social or professional importance or distinction. Synonym: Status, prestige, rank, standing, state, stature
Esteem: regard
Homage: noun; a feeling of deferential approval and liking. Syn: regard; admiration; consideration; favor; respect;
My Sistahs,
I submit to you that we, the Queens of the earth, have lost our dignity. I say we do not like ourselves and that we do not approve of who we are in our "natural state!"
Let’s go to the beginning – our birth. We are born with dignity; we are born with a healthy sense of self worth. We were born black. Our hair had no "African Pride," "Optima" on it then. Oh, our Mamas loved us! In that state of being, in that moment, in our natural state, beautiful black skin, brown eyes, full lips, curly hair, we had it going on! Our families were rejoicing in the wonder of this Beautiful Black Baby Gurl Child. Ancestors in Heaven were rejoicing along with them. You had arrived in Aiye (earth) safely. Gurl is going to accomplish her destiny and wear the power of her ancient ancestors! She is going to be able to "draw upon the power of the deep like before."
Oh, but no. Your Mama does not know how to call on those powers, so no reading or "estentaye" is done after your birth in accordance with the ways of your culture. That has been stripped from you. Instead, some water is sprinkled on your beautiful black skin. Since no "reading" is done, and no cultural ritual naming ceremony is performed, no one on earth is aware of why you came here. There is nothing done to help you fulfill your destiny. You get no help from "the deep" at all. So everyone fakes it till they make it.
Our sense of self is formulated from a central set of personal beliefs. These are things we see and are taught. From the beginning, we see that being "white" is "right." We want to emulate the white girls or some other culture that is not our own. We see so many negative images and stereotypes about our own race, it is difficult for a child to want to be what they are, and that is BLACK. This may be conscious or unconscious, but it still takes place on some level.
I personally used to come up with this insanity about my "Mediterranean" ancestors, or the native ones. I can remember wanting to be anything but Black. Had I been aware of whom I was n the grand scheme of things, I could have taken deep breaths and moved on. However, I did not, and could not do that. That was my own personal degradation. It was the legacy handed to me by my own family members, the women and men in whose footsteps I walked. The women in my family had identity issues. My great-grandmother was a mulatto. Cancel all their subscriptions! They had enough issues. They, in a sense were enslaved. In our family we had a sorta "caste" system. The lighter one was, the "better" they thought they were. In reality, they had more problems than those who were darker.
Today, I steadfastly will not emulate a white culture, or any culture that has consistently proven that they will not recognize my Afrikan Ancestor’s or my own humanity. I have adopted Malcolm X’s words "I’m Black first, my sympathies are black, my allegiance is black, my whole objectives are black." For me, I add "I’m not interested in anyone else, because no one else is interested in protecting my lineage." And that is what it is all about, protecting those who come behind me. My child, any grandchildren I may have, my nieces and nephews, their children, and so on. I want my nieces to learn to love themselves and break this cycle of NOT holding themselves in high regard. I want you as Black women to learn to love yourself and know that you deserve respect and prestige. My wish for you is that you hand this down to your daughters, and all female members of your family.
